The first quote from Gary Chapman’s The 5 Languages of Love I captured in my Love-e-logue was
I choose to look out for your interests.
While there are areas I can always improve upon, I actually do quite well looking out for my husband’s interests. For example, I love supporting his Italian car passions and his associated business endeavours. What I suck at is allowing him to look out for my interests.
Every time he attempted to provide suggestions about marketing my art, I would shut him down … instantly. Quite often before the words were even out of his mouth. I seek and accept input from all manner of people, but from him? No siree, uh uh, not happening.
Why? Because he is my husband. Based on previous relationship experiences, what I heard coming out of his mouth was:
- you are not smart enough to run your own business
- your art is not good enough to sell
- you are all over the map and are doomed to fail.
This all came to a head recently in a series of blow outs. I realized that I seriously needed to get over myself, or risk doing permanent damage to a wonderful relationship.
I wasn’t really hearing his voice saying these things, because he certainly wasn’t. His words were being translated into my own words of fear:
- I am not smart enough to run my own business
- My art is not good enough to sell
- I am all over the map and am doomed to fail.
I sat myself down and said
“Listen up, woman! You know you are smart, people are buying your art, and yes, you could do with a little more focus, but you sure as heck are not doomed to fail. Oh, and by the way, that is one hell of an awesome man you’ve got there.”
In all other aspects of our life, our collaborative creative efforts are amazing. Home renovations, landscaping, planning trips … in every case we brainstorm ideas and come up with solutions that are better than either of us could have done on our own. So, the other night, I asked Hubby to help me with my business.
I was posting my Road Tripping Series to my shop and needed help with the descriptions and tags for the cars. The extent of my car knowledge, beyond illustrating them, is “it’s a red convertible”. So, we sat down together and spent a very enjoyable hour describing my art.
In keeping with our other collaborative projects, the whole ended up greater than the sum of our parts. Not only did Hubby help with the car related words, he even proposed non-car search tags that I never would have thought of.
I am so over myself! And from here on in, my Love-e-logue mantra is:
I choose to let you look out for my interests.